What To Do When A Spouse Wants Out - Lyn Smith & Becky Whetstone

Lyn welcomes Dr. Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist, to discuss the challenging topic of what to do when a spouse wants out of the marriage/ relationship. Dr. Whetstone shares her personal journey through marital struggles and the insights she gained from her experiences, emphasising the importance of getting help to stabilise emotions and heal any issues, during a marriage crisis. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

In a marriage crisis, one partner (the decider) may want to leave while the other (the leaning in partner) wants to stay and fight for the relationship. This creates a runner-chaser dynamic that can exacerbate tensions. Before making any decisions about the future of the marriage/ relationship, it's crucial to stabilise emotions and calm the nervous system. This allows for more rational discussions and helps both partners access their true feelings. Implementing a period of no contact can be beneficial. This space allows the decider to reflect on their feelings and the relationship without the pressure of the leaning in partner's attempts to reconnect. During separation, the leaning in partner should put the love and focus entirely on themselves by doing things that they love and that make them happy. This time can be used for self help, to address any stress/ anxiety/ personal issues/ and prepare for a healthier future. Engaging with a therapist can provide essential support during a marriage crisis. Professional guidance can help individuals navigate their emotions, heal past/ current issues, and make informed healthier decisions about their relationship.

BEST MOMENTS

"If someone says, I think I want out of my marriage... all sorts of crazy feelings, thoughts, and things are going to happen. People can flip back and change their mind numerous times."

"The harder the leaning in partner chases after... the more activated and intense the decider will want to get away."

"If you could just... be kind when your person says they want to leave... I think probably I'd have 80% more reconciliations than I currently do."

"Even when you think there's no hope, hope. I've seen everything... it's just so important how you conduct yourself during the process."

ABOUT THE GUEST - Dr. Becky Whetstone - Marriage & Family Therapist

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.

Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.

CONTACT METHOD
lyn@hearts-entwined.com