Why We Attract Emotionally Unavailable Men - Lyn Smith & Caroline Ackroyd
Hearts Entwined Podcast
Lyn welcomes back Caroline Ackroyd, a hypnotherapist and love coach, to explore the compelling topic of why women often attract emotionally unavailable men. Caroline shares her insights on the patterns that stem from childhood experiences, emphasising how unmet emotional needs can lead to a cycle of seeking affection from partners who mirror those early relationships. The conversation delves into the psychological aspects of these dynamics, including the concept of a "pining pattern" and the trauma bonds that can form in unhealthy relationships.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Understanding Emotional Unavailability: Emotional unavailability in partners can stem from their childhood experiences, where their emotional needs were not met. This can manifest in various ways, from lack of affection to more severe issues like narcissism. The Pining Pattern: Individuals may develop a "pining pattern," where love is associated with longing and chasing. This pattern often leads to choosing partners who mirror the emotional unavailability experienced in childhood, perpetuating a cycle of unfulfilling relationships. Self-Responsibility: It's crucial to recognise that while attraction to emotionally unavailable partners may feel external, it often reflects internal patterns. Taking responsibility for one's choices in relationships is the first step toward healing and breaking the cycle. Healing involves changing the narrative about self-worth and learning to validate oneself. By acknowledging one's own lovability and worthiness, individuals can attract healthier, more affectionate partners.BEST MOMENTS
"When I say emotionally unavailable, that can manifest itself... from someone who is not affectionate, all the way to higher degrees... a narcissist all the way to psychopath."
"You are trying to change your parent by changing that partner... if you can make him into a warm, cuddly, loving pussycat, you will have put a happy ending on your childhood."
"You will know that you have healed when that type and those red flags no longer come into your radar."
"It's not about finding love. It's about attracting that partner... it's possible and available for you."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert
Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.
She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.
Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.
HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.
Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.
